Perimenopause Chronicle Quilt Update

One month in.

I’ve never paid this much attention to my menstrual cycle. I’m finding it quite eye opening. Part of it is about deciphering whether a mood is as result of outside forces (life/Covid/work/parenting) or influenced by hormones and impacting my responses to those outside forces. Part of it is realizing how much my sleep, or lack thereof, is both impacted by perimenopause and impacts my moods. Frankly, it all has me appreciating just how much we women can get done with all this happening to our bodies.

The project itself involves 5-10 minutes of sewing at the end of the day. After the kids go to bed and before I sit down with my husband I stitch up the block. Pain? Mood? Any flow? What about all that other random stuff? Pain (associated with my cycle only, not my back pain) is a strike through the center of the vagina representation. The background is the mood. The center is about flow or not flow. Orange bits account for the night time stuff (sweats and dreams) or bowel, breast, or other things. In the first month I marked my Covid vaccine. In this second month I marked my restart of iron supplements for anemia. Each night I post the block and quick summary on my Instagram stories. #perimenipausechroniclequilt

I am wildly curious to see consistencies and changes over the year. Sure, I could use an app like my teenage daughter, but this visual representation is very appealing to me. Here is the legend I am using.

Only one person has criticized me for the project, for sharing too much information. While I get that - this is a lot for me to be sharing, I’m sure my teenage nephews that follow me love it - I really do believe that it is important to be open in this conversation. After I first announced the project I received so many positive emails from women of all ages. I really appreciate every comment, it adds to the conversation. If the emails and comments are any indication, we need to have more and more conversations.

One Little Block at a Time

One day you are just staring at the scraps from some log cabins and the next you are starting a new quilt. To be fair, I didn’t really plan on starting a new quilt, I just wanted to see what would happen if I made some little four patches. Well, I can tell you this, JOY happened. Little four patches are deliciously delightful!

Tedious to sew at times, but delightful.

Initially, I only made the red and white ones. After a batch of those I decided they needed some other colours for company. It was only after I made some green and turquoise ones that I decided these little bits would become a quilt. But what kind of quilt?

THIS kind of quilt.

A meta four patch showing off all the best in the colours and the low volume fabric. See? Delightful.

My Covid brain would not allow me to imagine what it could truly be as a quilt though. At least not at a useful size. Usually, I could fo the math and dive right in. Alternatively, sew a bunch and then figure out a way to make it work. This time I needed to draw it out a bit. No one will ever complain about a little sketching either. Some coloured pens an graph paper did the trick. Now I could count squares instead of totally winging it.

Sometimes you don’t want to do the math though. Only because the answer is daunting. Really daunting. That is one of the downsides of small piecing. The only downside. It takes a lot of blocks to make a useful size quilt. In my case, this quilt will end up 21 x 27 blocks. That means I need 567 of the bigger blocks. So double that of the four patches! Yeah, I didn’t like that math either.

The good thing about small piecing and no deadline, is that I can plug away and one day it will be done. This causes me zero stress. If I finish this project this month, next year, or in 2025, I don’t care. It will be a cool quilt no matter what.

So I’ve cleaned up dangly bits from the stash of low volumes, tidied up the scrap bins, and got myself a pile of blocks by the sewing machine. As I work on any other project the pairs become my leaders and enders. Once a good stack of them are ready I plug in the iron and put a show on the computer to press. Then repeat, making four patches. I’ve actually squared up quite a few of them while on Zoom calls for school or sports AGMs. Keeps me busy, at least.

I feel my mojo creeping back so getting these assembled doesn’t feel like work. More like a comfort, a return to home. Just like our lives right now have to be about taking it one day at a time, we can make a quilt one block at a time.

Not Reaching Your Goals is NOT a Failure

54 is decidedly not 44.

A year ago I set an intention to finish quilts. I had 54 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list. So, in the year I was 44 I thought it would be am good idea to get that list down to 44. It seemed reasonable. It is reasonable. And I did finish 6 projects. Some of those held long time spots on the list, or short spots. Some were started and finished in one go. I did, however, start a number of projects as well. They are taking up room on the list as blocks or completed quilt tops.

So be it.

In a few days I turn 45 and 45 is 54 backwards. That tiny fact appeals to me. Since I can’t be 44 forever, and I still don’t have 44 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list then I will hang on to this little tidbit of cheer.

And really, when it comes down to it, I don’t care about that number. I don’t care that I started more than I finished this year. Why? Because it all represents the joy of making. The process is so, so great. I don’t want to get hung up on the number of finished quilts. If that is all I wanted then I could just go buy a quilt at the mall. Okay, maybe not right now, but you get the point.

As I look through my master list I am reminded on projects started for specific reasons and that memory makes me smile. I see projects that started as a moment of play that grew and grew. I see old projects that I am, admittedly, a little sad, aren’t getting their time in the sun. I see quilt tops I am anxious to quilt (and the 4 big pieces of batting I bought recently calling their names).

Mostly, I see my time invested in myself. That’s right, not invested in the projects, in myself. That’s because this is 80% about my mental health and finding joy in the creative act and 20% about making a quilt. And this past year, especially these past few months, have been stressful and busy. Without a creative practice like quilt making I definitely would be full of anxiety and tears. Those things are there, but I can manage them because I make.

Long time readers will probably think I sound like a broken record. I can’t argue with that. Right now though, we need to see this more than ever. Make for the sake of making.

So on my distanced birthday this year I will likely get a few stitches in a few different projects and none will get finished. It will be glorious. One of these days I will get down to 44, or maybe even less? Or maybe I won’t.

Morning Make - March 2020

On February 29 I woke up with the flu. Just the regular flu, thankfully, but I still spent the next few weeks sicker than I can remember being in my adult life. And I thought shingles was bad this past fall! Anyway, when it came time to start March Morning Make I absolutely needed something easy, something mindless, something that was creative without being terribly challenging. In my fever addled state I remembered my Creative Bug membership and the multiple daily challenge classes.

With my kiddo’s IKEA paint set at my side I started Lisa Solomon’s Color Meditation class. I had no idea how perfect of a choice this was. More on that.

Note: I am spelling Color the American way here so people can find the class.

Once I was able to be vertical I went out and bought more watercolours, fancy ones from the art store. A week later I bought another set. That was when the kids came home. They joined me in the mornings then. We painted together, a calm start to these crazy days.

I knew zero about watercolour before starting this class. I can’t claim to know much more now - this isn’t a class on technique - but I have a comfortableness and willingness to play with the paint now. Any previous watercolour experience on my part was sitting beside the kids while they made shapes and landscapes and such.

Even when sick I found this painting to be pure escape. Then when our world got turned inside I found it to be a perfect balm. Lisa calls them Color Meditations and it is apt. I got lost in the process, much like I do when I am sewing. The end result didn’t matter, it was about the physical act of paint on paper. It was about playing without colour and water and shape. It was about the breath when we did it.

Sometimes the daily painting was only 15-20 minutes. Sometimes I sat there over an hour. Many, many times one or more of us would come to the table throughout the day with a cup of water and play.

You don’t have to start a daily practice like this on the 1st of the month. Try it tomorrow morning, I promise you won’t regret it.

Any daily creative practice is so important right now. People are baking bread, learning how to knit, picking up the guitar. Why? Because we need both the physical action of making/doing and the mental break from the rest of the world. When we do this our brain and body release from what is going on and allows us to be fully present. This is what meditation does for us and there is no one who can argue that meditation is bad. If sitting on a pillow and taking deep breaths while on a big journey isn’t your thing, then a creative challenge may suit you. Whatever that may be.

For April I am back to sewing. It’s been a few months since I did that for Morning Make. Each day I am making a 12.5” square X Plus blocks.