54 is decidedly not 44.
A year ago I set an intention to finish quilts. I had 54 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list. So, in the year I was 44 I thought it would be am good idea to get that list down to 44. It seemed reasonable. It is reasonable. And I did finish 6 projects. Some of those held long time spots on the list, or short spots. Some were started and finished in one go. I did, however, start a number of projects as well. They are taking up room on the list as blocks or completed quilt tops.
So be it.
In a few days I turn 45 and 45 is 54 backwards. That tiny fact appeals to me. Since I can’t be 44 forever, and I still don’t have 44 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list then I will hang on to this little tidbit of cheer.
And really, when it comes down to it, I don’t care about that number. I don’t care that I started more than I finished this year. Why? Because it all represents the joy of making. The process is so, so great. I don’t want to get hung up on the number of finished quilts. If that is all I wanted then I could just go buy a quilt at the mall. Okay, maybe not right now, but you get the point.
As I look through my master list I am reminded on projects started for specific reasons and that memory makes me smile. I see projects that started as a moment of play that grew and grew. I see old projects that I am, admittedly, a little sad, aren’t getting their time in the sun. I see quilt tops I am anxious to quilt (and the 4 big pieces of batting I bought recently calling their names).
Mostly, I see my time invested in myself. That’s right, not invested in the projects, in myself. That’s because this is 80% about my mental health and finding joy in the creative act and 20% about making a quilt. And this past year, especially these past few months, have been stressful and busy. Without a creative practice like quilt making I definitely would be full of anxiety and tears. Those things are there, but I can manage them because I make.
Long time readers will probably think I sound like a broken record. I can’t argue with that. Right now though, we need to see this more than ever. Make for the sake of making.
So on my distanced birthday this year I will likely get a few stitches in a few different projects and none will get finished. It will be glorious. One of these days I will get down to 44, or maybe even less? Or maybe I won’t.
