Not Reaching Your Goals is NOT a Failure

54 is decidedly not 44.

A year ago I set an intention to finish quilts. I had 54 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list. So, in the year I was 44 I thought it would be am good idea to get that list down to 44. It seemed reasonable. It is reasonable. And I did finish 6 projects. Some of those held long time spots on the list, or short spots. Some were started and finished in one go. I did, however, start a number of projects as well. They are taking up room on the list as blocks or completed quilt tops.

So be it.

In a few days I turn 45 and 45 is 54 backwards. That tiny fact appeals to me. Since I can’t be 44 forever, and I still don’t have 44 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list then I will hang on to this little tidbit of cheer.

And really, when it comes down to it, I don’t care about that number. I don’t care that I started more than I finished this year. Why? Because it all represents the joy of making. The process is so, so great. I don’t want to get hung up on the number of finished quilts. If that is all I wanted then I could just go buy a quilt at the mall. Okay, maybe not right now, but you get the point.

As I look through my master list I am reminded on projects started for specific reasons and that memory makes me smile. I see projects that started as a moment of play that grew and grew. I see old projects that I am, admittedly, a little sad, aren’t getting their time in the sun. I see quilt tops I am anxious to quilt (and the 4 big pieces of batting I bought recently calling their names).

Mostly, I see my time invested in myself. That’s right, not invested in the projects, in myself. That’s because this is 80% about my mental health and finding joy in the creative act and 20% about making a quilt. And this past year, especially these past few months, have been stressful and busy. Without a creative practice like quilt making I definitely would be full of anxiety and tears. Those things are there, but I can manage them because I make.

Long time readers will probably think I sound like a broken record. I can’t argue with that. Right now though, we need to see this more than ever. Make for the sake of making.

So on my distanced birthday this year I will likely get a few stitches in a few different projects and none will get finished. It will be glorious. One of these days I will get down to 44, or maybe even less? Or maybe I won’t.

Euroa Quilt Update - Passed the Halfway Mark

When I passed the halfway mark a few weeks ago I must admit that I had conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I was thrilled that I’d made it this far. On the other, I’d only made it this far?

My trip to Australia was nearly 4 years ago, and that is where the original inspiration for this quilt came from. The threshold to a cafe in a little town called Euroa. Turns out that tile was pretty common in Australia as I’ve heard from many people since that they or their grandparents had it in their house. I made the first block… let me check now… in April of 2017.

It took me almost 3 years to get halfway.

I do recall not touching the blocks when I had a bout of tennis elbow. That was months and months of no hand stitching (completely solved by getting a new pillow, by the way). Some weeks and months the work is constant in any down the or pool deck or outside the dance studio time. Then I may not touch a block for a few weeks.

So yeah, I may be a bit bummed that it’s taken almost 3 years to get this far, I can fully acknowledge and appreciate that life is life. Also, I am doing this entirely by hand. That’s a lot of work adding up to something glorious. Well, I think it’s glorious.

In the end, I have no doubt that this will be a special quilt. For the memories of the inspiration, gratefulness for the moments of making, gratitude for my hands and body being able to bring this together, and pure love for the beauty. If it takes me another 3 years to finish, then so be it.

All I know is that I wold love to go back to Euroa when it is done to take a picture in its inspirational namesake.

For those curious…

• Each block contains 16 pieces. I can print the templates on a piece of card stock. Indeed, I designed the templates so that they could be printed easily, that’s why each block is 8’’ square.

• I pick the fabric for each block in a way I would refer to as controlled random. I have a stack of fabric and try not to have the same fabric too close to itself. Otherwise, I am not too fussy about it.

• Each block gets prepped by cutting apart the template, picking the fabric, glueing the template to the fabric with a dab from a glue stick, then trimming excess fabric.

• Thread basting works best for me. It is the most portable, a must have option for me. Also, it’s a great way to use the bit of thread left on a bobbin or spool that would otherwise be wasted.

• Once I have all 16 pieces basted I stitch them together with a flat back stitch.

• 4 blocks together become a mega block. 5 mega blocks become a column. There will be 5 columns in the finished quilt.

Contentment versus Happiness in Life and Quiltmaking

Where do you find happiness in your quilting? Is it is the process or a specific part of the process? Or is it in the finished quilt?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between contentment and happiness. Here is what I shared with my newsletter readers last week:

So many of us are always on the look out for happy. We think happiness is the ultimate goal. We are wrong, I see now. Contentment is what we should seek. 

Think of it this way. When you have a baby the exhaustion level, physically and mentally, is high. So is the amount of stuff and drudgery in your day. But then the day comes that they genuinely see you for the first time, the day they roll over, the first night they sleep for 6 hours straight, pulling themselves up at the coffee table, crawling, walking, the first word. These milestones are all the happy we desire. They are excitement and pure joy. But they aren't really enough to get us through the day to day, the repetitiveness, the mess of parenting a baby. Unless, of course, we can embrace the naps on our chest again, cleaning the favourite toy of spit up again, the screeching, and even the diapers. Contentment is when we can look at all of that and still smile.

Happy is an exclamation point. Contentment is a smile. 

If our lives are filled with nothing but exclamation points it will be fun, sure, but also exhausting. Here's another way to think of it. Imagine your last good vacation, if you can. Was it all adventures - zip lining, horseback riding, spicy cooking classes, the tallest building in the city, surfing lessons? Probably not. But maybe you did one or two really exciting things and then otherwise enjoyed strolling the beach or city streets, reading a book, a delicious bakery where you lingered. If it was all the adventures - the exclamation points - it would be a lot of fun, maybe a bit stressful, and very, very tiring at the end of the day. But those quieter moments, the ones that make you smile and sigh are delightful.

Regular life needs to be a combo of both. However, instead of seeking happiness, we should be looking for what makes us content. More importantly, we should be looking around us and realizing that what we have is good and brings us contentment. You might be surprised at what you see.

Then I was speaking with a lovely lady in my neighbourhood this week, also a quilter. She spoke about how she will look at a finished quilt and wonder just how she got there. Like suddenly it is finished and the making of it has slipped away. Yet the making of it is where her peace is.

Contentment = enjoying the quilt making process.

Happiness = the finished quilt.

So I suppose that now that I’ve thought of it this way, I see my love for the process in an even better light. And it explains my defence of unfinished quilts. I would much rather have contentment, a smile, in my life on a daily basis than the energy of an exclamation point. Don’t get me wrong, happiness is awesome, finished quilts are awesome, but finished quilts only come around a few times a year. Why hang all my joy on sometimes success when I can have peace everyday in the making?

To that end. I did finish a few quilts recently so I was happy to pull out an old, favourite project. I’m jazzed for it and sneak in to the sewing room in spare moments to put together just one more string of Itty Bitty curves. The piecing makes me feel joyful, the work growing gives me all the smiles, and the daily making is 100% about contentment.

Morning Make 2020

Morning Make

A daily (or mostly daily) practice of creative action.

Completed before caffeine, social media, regular media, or even interaction with family.

A moment, the moment, where one creates for the sake of creating and the rest of the world falls away.

For me, this has always meant doing it first thing in the morning. I set my alarm at least 20 minutes before I have to actually get up. It required an adjustment at the beginning, and a readjustment after each school break where we all sleep in, but it is worth it. I don’t feel that anything is lost because my mental health AND creative production benefit. Others I’ve spoken to about Morning Make find that the first thing timing is hard. So make it what works for you. Right after the kids go to school, home from a workout, in the quiet after bedtime for everyone else. The real key to success is to make this a regular practice.

I’ve chosen the word practice quite deliberately. While I like the stretching of yoga it isn’t spiritually my thing. Same with meditation. But the notion of showing up regularly and being completely present is central to both. And it is exactly the same with Morning Make. That is why I do it with no media or entertainment for company. Just me and the creative action. I am completely present. The more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more you see the benefits. Like a practice.

You can do your own Googling, but the benefits of a regular meditation practice are well known. For me, a regular practice reduces stress and calms my anxiety. If I miss Morning Make for a few days because my sewing room is engaged as a guest room I definitely get antsy. Those are the times I have to do something else like write and sketch to make sure my stress levels don’t increase. A regular practice boosts my creativity because, like any other muscle, your creativity grows when you use it. Most days my Morning Make is the only creative time or sewing time I get. It might not be long, but a lot can get done when you show up every day.

In 2020 I’ve decide to change things up a bit for my Morning Make. Just a little push for myself. Instead of sewing on whatever project happens to be out at the time I am going to create monthly motives for my Morning Make. It might be sewing, it might be writing, it might be something else entirely. A month doesn’t seem like a huge commitment to try something different, but also a good way to get some different skills primed, try new techniques, and devote time to my creative development.

Here is the brainstormed list of ideas.

• Letters

• Improv Doodles

• Houses/Buildings

• Haiku

• Quilt Sketch

• 30 versions of a block

• NaNoWriMo

• Nature Photo Macros

• Sunrise Pictures

• Free Motion Quilting Doodles

• Tassles

• Dream Big brainstorming

• Plant Sketch

• Watercolour Abstract

• Carve a Stamp

• Make Cards

• Embroidery stitch sample

There are obviously more than 12 ideas here. And I certainly open to more suggestions. Each month I will decide what to embrace. The decision will be based on desire, motivation, and what exactly our family schedule looks like that month.

Here’s to a year of making!

PS For January, I’ve chosen Haiku. One poem a day.