Perimenopause Chronicle Quilt Update

One month in.

I’ve never paid this much attention to my menstrual cycle. I’m finding it quite eye opening. Part of it is about deciphering whether a mood is as result of outside forces (life/Covid/work/parenting) or influenced by hormones and impacting my responses to those outside forces. Part of it is realizing how much my sleep, or lack thereof, is both impacted by perimenopause and impacts my moods. Frankly, it all has me appreciating just how much we women can get done with all this happening to our bodies.

The project itself involves 5-10 minutes of sewing at the end of the day. After the kids go to bed and before I sit down with my husband I stitch up the block. Pain? Mood? Any flow? What about all that other random stuff? Pain (associated with my cycle only, not my back pain) is a strike through the center of the vagina representation. The background is the mood. The center is about flow or not flow. Orange bits account for the night time stuff (sweats and dreams) or bowel, breast, or other things. In the first month I marked my Covid vaccine. In this second month I marked my restart of iron supplements for anemia. Each night I post the block and quick summary on my Instagram stories. #perimenipausechroniclequilt

I am wildly curious to see consistencies and changes over the year. Sure, I could use an app like my teenage daughter, but this visual representation is very appealing to me. Here is the legend I am using.

Only one person has criticized me for the project, for sharing too much information. While I get that - this is a lot for me to be sharing, I’m sure my teenage nephews that follow me love it - I really do believe that it is important to be open in this conversation. After I first announced the project I received so many positive emails from women of all ages. I really appreciate every comment, it adds to the conversation. If the emails and comments are any indication, we need to have more and more conversations.

The Perimenopause Chronicle Quilt Begins

I come from a family with scary uterine history. My grandmother died of cervical cancer in her 30s. My mom had a hysterectomy shortly after giving birth to me. That history also means I have zero recollection of any conversations about menopause within my family. Really though, the world just doesn’t talk it; it isn’t just a thing with my family. More specifically, the world does not talk about perimenopause.

A few weeks ago I had a long conversation with one of my girlfriends about this. Is it squeamishness? Denial? the perpetual sweeping under the rug of anything to do with women’s health? Now that we are in the thick of perimenopause it reminds of when I was pregnant and I kept asking: why didn’t anyone tell me about this? In both cases it might be that people did tell me but I wasn’t looking for/listening to the information before I needed it. Or, it is the reasons listed above? Regardless, I am interested in it a lot now, for obvious reasons - being a 45 year old woman, namely.

So, on our last Virtual Trunk Show (Instagram Live, the second Thursday of each month) we had the theme of Change of Seasons and it gave me a wonderful idea: make a quilt to mark the perimenopause experience! I got the idea from the concept of temperature quilts/blankets. You pick a colour to correspond with the temperature of the day and make a block or knit/crochet a row to mark it. Only I would be marking my flow, moods, pain, and other stuff of my perimenopausal menstrual cycle.

Aided by a few conversations with friends and online about what exactly I should track and in consultation with the Monster and The Evil Genius I planned out the quilt. Fabric selection was a bit tough. I went back and forth between solids and prints until I concluded that neither felt right. A quiet Sunday at home led me to experiment with hand-dyed fabric (with Procion MX dyes). It took a few tries but I am happy with the palette for this quilt.

Each block will include a representation of my flow, or not flow, as well as my mood. I am also including a marker for pain and for what my teen referred to as Random Ass Shit like night sweats, bowel issues, breast tenderness, and bloating.

Here is the legend I am working with:

LEFT PILE
Orange = Random Ass Shit
Yellow = Pain (cramps and mittleschmerz mostly)
Pink/Peach = no flow
Pink Red = light flow
Red = medium flow
Purple Red = heavy flow

RIGHT PILE is for moods
Green = Happy
Turquoise = Content
Blue = Sad/Listless
Purple = Grumpy/Irritable/Annoyed
Black = Angry

My plan is to track things for 12 cycles. That adds up to more or less a year. Nothing is perfectly regular anymore so that is only a guess.

I know that this makes some feel uncomfortable. Oh well. We need more conversations on this topic and I am happy to open the door and make space for that. Yes, the quilt is a selfish reflection but it will serve as a larger conversation starter.

Expect the periodic post here and follow along on instagram with #perimenopausechroniclequilt.

Names for Snow

Names For Snow

47” x 58”

Okay, so I finished this quilt more than a year ago. Then it was on display and stayed living for a friend for a year. He was paranoid about it getting wrecked and so gave it back. I’ve just been waiting for a proper snowfall to get a picture of it.

Of course, I forgot that proper snowfalls actually make it difficult to take quilt pictures. There is the feets of snow, for one. And two, despite all that white, it is quite difficult to get accurate colour representation in snow. Good thing this quilt is inspired by snow! In a strange twist in quilt photography, shooting this quilt in the sun was the way to do it. Got my tween and her best friend to help out as I forced them away from the snow fort they are building.

The entire quilt started as a love letter to my favourite scissors. Kevin from Knife Wear goes on buying trips to Japan. I made a comment about scissors offhand and he came up with some pairs to try. Yes, I know we quilters are spoiled with a lot of scissor options. These ones are, by far, my favourite. So I set out to freehand cut half square triangles and sew them together. Everything was cut by hand - the initial squares, trimming, and squaring up. The only time I brought out a rotary cutter and ruler was to square up the finished quilt. What a liberating way to work!

Note to self: do this again.

Playing with all these neutrals resulted in another love letter through this quilt. To my favourite season: winter! It isn’t often that I have the name of a quilt early in the making but this one was set pretty quickly. Whites, creams, beiges, more whites, a little blue. No yellow.

I spent way too much time obsessing over the quilting. I was researching different languages and their names for snow, I was trying to figure out how to stitch in Inuktitut. I brainstorming loads of options. In the end, however, a deadline and my desire to never mark quilts won. I went with dense, wavy lines (snowdrift) with little asterisk/sparkles here and there. Texture, more than anything.

The white binding seemed like a no brainer.

When making improv quilts, whether free hand cut like this or now, one key thing to remember is that perfection does not live here. Points will be trimmed off, lines might be a bit wonky, you might cut more than expected to make things fit, and almost nothing lines up. This is precisely why I like this. It looks and feels handmade. I see my own movements in every line of stitching, every shape. It can be a hard switch from the pursuit of perfection in quilt making but it is a liberating switch for many.

Now that we are settled in for a Christmas at home I am glad for another quilt on the sofa to celebrate my truly favourite season. Winter is indeed for snow forts and skiing (hopefully) and skating. Winter is for curling up with quilts and cookies at the bookends of those activities.

Here’s to the season!

This is the third in my landscape series. See Mountain Meadows and Ripples.

Exclamation Points!!

I’m not sure I’m done saying the words that need the exclamation points, but it seems I am doing sewing the exclamation points.

This 100% Covid inspired quilt top is now ready for a date under the needles to turn it into a quilt. That’s the point when I can be more reflective, maybe a bit more quiet, possibly a tiny bit excited. Or still saying a lot of things!

Free Video Tutorial! for this block.

We are still very much in Covid times. We are still very much in a reckoning regarding Black Lives Matter and a strong need for anti-racist actions. We are still tired, stressed, privileged, scared, bored, anxious, frustrated, angry, grieving, and maybe a tiny bit hopeful. We still very much need words that end with exclamation points.

Here, our kids are back in school. We had a choice between online and in person. Our kids are social creatures and the numbers, while not good, are low enough with regard to community spread (at the moment) to make us feel okay with their return. We’ve already had one round of isolation and a test for a kid with a cold, so we’ll see how it all pans out going forward. For now they are happy to have some routine and greater social interactions than the 4 families we bubbled with. And, thankfully, they all wear their masks and understand the rules.

With them in school I have some semblance of a routine developing. I’m trying to catch up on our family business. I’m also starting some online teaching. Right now it is all through guilds and stores, but Zoom is indeed a remarkable platform for delivering classes. It’s working for me. I’m even managing a bit of yoga and dog walks while still feeding sourdough and stress baking cookies!

It’s all good, until it isn’t. As we’ve been saying to the kids since March, we take this one day at a time.