Contentment versus Happiness in Life and Quiltmaking

Where do you find happiness in your quilting? Is it is the process or a specific part of the process? Or is it in the finished quilt?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between contentment and happiness. Here is what I shared with my newsletter readers last week:

So many of us are always on the look out for happy. We think happiness is the ultimate goal. We are wrong, I see now. Contentment is what we should seek. 

Think of it this way. When you have a baby the exhaustion level, physically and mentally, is high. So is the amount of stuff and drudgery in your day. But then the day comes that they genuinely see you for the first time, the day they roll over, the first night they sleep for 6 hours straight, pulling themselves up at the coffee table, crawling, walking, the first word. These milestones are all the happy we desire. They are excitement and pure joy. But they aren't really enough to get us through the day to day, the repetitiveness, the mess of parenting a baby. Unless, of course, we can embrace the naps on our chest again, cleaning the favourite toy of spit up again, the screeching, and even the diapers. Contentment is when we can look at all of that and still smile.

Happy is an exclamation point. Contentment is a smile. 

If our lives are filled with nothing but exclamation points it will be fun, sure, but also exhausting. Here's another way to think of it. Imagine your last good vacation, if you can. Was it all adventures - zip lining, horseback riding, spicy cooking classes, the tallest building in the city, surfing lessons? Probably not. But maybe you did one or two really exciting things and then otherwise enjoyed strolling the beach or city streets, reading a book, a delicious bakery where you lingered. If it was all the adventures - the exclamation points - it would be a lot of fun, maybe a bit stressful, and very, very tiring at the end of the day. But those quieter moments, the ones that make you smile and sigh are delightful.

Regular life needs to be a combo of both. However, instead of seeking happiness, we should be looking for what makes us content. More importantly, we should be looking around us and realizing that what we have is good and brings us contentment. You might be surprised at what you see.

Then I was speaking with a lovely lady in my neighbourhood this week, also a quilter. She spoke about how she will look at a finished quilt and wonder just how she got there. Like suddenly it is finished and the making of it has slipped away. Yet the making of it is where her peace is.

Contentment = enjoying the quilt making process.

Happiness = the finished quilt.

So I suppose that now that I’ve thought of it this way, I see my love for the process in an even better light. And it explains my defence of unfinished quilts. I would much rather have contentment, a smile, in my life on a daily basis than the energy of an exclamation point. Don’t get me wrong, happiness is awesome, finished quilts are awesome, but finished quilts only come around a few times a year. Why hang all my joy on sometimes success when I can have peace everyday in the making?

To that end. I did finish a few quilts recently so I was happy to pull out an old, favourite project. I’m jazzed for it and sneak in to the sewing room in spare moments to put together just one more string of Itty Bitty curves. The piecing makes me feel joyful, the work growing gives me all the smiles, and the daily making is 100% about contentment.

Quilt Bravely - Creatively Contrasting Binding

This is the first is a series of posts encouraging you to be different, quilt different, quilt bravely. To bend or even break some rules while pumping up your creative voice. You have the creative confidence, I’m just here to remind you of it.

So you need to bind a quilt? You might be one of those quilters who not only selected their binding fabric with the rest of the fabrics but also made your binding before needing it. That would be awesome! This post is for those of us looking to jazz up our quilts with binding, not just treating it as an afterthought.

Binding selection generally comes as the quilting winds down. Maybe even as the quilted quilt sits and marinates or you muster the energy to do it at all. You might have a default binding - black and white stripes, anyone? You might search for just the right shade of blue that coordinates with everything in the quilt and the quilt back. You might pick the stripe from the fabric collection that the quilt top is made from.

My challenge to you is to embrace a contrasting binding. Whether in colour, style, value, or design a contrasting binding might be exactly what your quilt needs for a stellar finish. If not contrasting, think creatively about what choice you can make. The unexpected one is often the exact right one. Here are some great ways to play with your binding selections.

High Contrast

Use the colour wheel or simple preference as your guide. Pick a colour not even in the quilt top but that coordinates nicely. Using the colour on the opposite side of the colour wheel is an excellent way to do this. For example, orange and blue.

Shiver

Stripes

(yet to be shared)

Highlight a Little Used Colour/Fabric

If you have just a little bit of a colour in the quilt top use the same colour binding fabric to wrap it all together. The examples above show me pulling out the green in the background print, even though there is no other green in the quilt top and using the same coral fabric that is only used sparingly in a quilt with 100 blocks.

Smooch

Lilla

Look to the Back

You may have picked a fabric that coordinates with the front but doesn’t necessarily use all the colours of the quilt top, go ahead and pick your binding from that fabric.

Lilla

Compose Yourself

Think White or Pale

Most of us shy away from a white binding, fearing a show of dirt. Let me tell you, that isn’t a fear worth having. It looks absolutely amazing on a quilt. Whether a print or a solid a light binding is an exciting frame to your work.

Morning Make I

Crossword

Insert Highlights in Bindings

Add a pop of a different colour randomly or make intentional inserts to extend the design of your quilt top. This is the moment to really think of your binding as part of the quilt and not necessarily just the frame.

Plus Size

Pieced Bindings

Okay, so all bindings on a not-mini quilt are technically pieced. Use different fabrics to accentuate the design of your quilt top. For example, I made a rainbow of binding to wrap around my Pride quilt. I’ve used leftover strips to create a scrappy binding. Play with it.

Pride Quilt

Scrap Quilts Call for Anything and Everything

Probably the most commonly used binding for a scrap quilt is some form of black and white stripe. It’s nearly a cliche. Sure, it looks good, but think outside the box. Grey is a good option. As is using the scraps of binding you have stashed all pieced together. Multicolour prints also look great. Or pick one colour you feel is underrepresented in your quilt top and use that.

Values Plus

Wine Gums

Forgiveness

Embrace the Uneveness

One of the reasons people love a stripe on the bias is that there is no concern about it looking ‘off’. And when was the last time you used a plaid or check on a binding? Just run with it and let your eye move around and even be fooled. It’s quite a fun effect actually. Essentially, you are ignoring the pattern to embrace what the fabric can do on the small scale of a binding.

Sewing Machine Quilt

Pocket Squares

Morning Make 2020

Morning Make

A daily (or mostly daily) practice of creative action.

Completed before caffeine, social media, regular media, or even interaction with family.

A moment, the moment, where one creates for the sake of creating and the rest of the world falls away.

For me, this has always meant doing it first thing in the morning. I set my alarm at least 20 minutes before I have to actually get up. It required an adjustment at the beginning, and a readjustment after each school break where we all sleep in, but it is worth it. I don’t feel that anything is lost because my mental health AND creative production benefit. Others I’ve spoken to about Morning Make find that the first thing timing is hard. So make it what works for you. Right after the kids go to school, home from a workout, in the quiet after bedtime for everyone else. The real key to success is to make this a regular practice.

I’ve chosen the word practice quite deliberately. While I like the stretching of yoga it isn’t spiritually my thing. Same with meditation. But the notion of showing up regularly and being completely present is central to both. And it is exactly the same with Morning Make. That is why I do it with no media or entertainment for company. Just me and the creative action. I am completely present. The more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more you see the benefits. Like a practice.

You can do your own Googling, but the benefits of a regular meditation practice are well known. For me, a regular practice reduces stress and calms my anxiety. If I miss Morning Make for a few days because my sewing room is engaged as a guest room I definitely get antsy. Those are the times I have to do something else like write and sketch to make sure my stress levels don’t increase. A regular practice boosts my creativity because, like any other muscle, your creativity grows when you use it. Most days my Morning Make is the only creative time or sewing time I get. It might not be long, but a lot can get done when you show up every day.

In 2020 I’ve decide to change things up a bit for my Morning Make. Just a little push for myself. Instead of sewing on whatever project happens to be out at the time I am going to create monthly motives for my Morning Make. It might be sewing, it might be writing, it might be something else entirely. A month doesn’t seem like a huge commitment to try something different, but also a good way to get some different skills primed, try new techniques, and devote time to my creative development.

Here is the brainstormed list of ideas.

• Letters

• Improv Doodles

• Houses/Buildings

• Haiku

• Quilt Sketch

• 30 versions of a block

• NaNoWriMo

• Nature Photo Macros

• Sunrise Pictures

• Free Motion Quilting Doodles

• Tassles

• Dream Big brainstorming

• Plant Sketch

• Watercolour Abstract

• Carve a Stamp

• Make Cards

• Embroidery stitch sample

There are obviously more than 12 ideas here. And I certainly open to more suggestions. Each month I will decide what to embrace. The decision will be based on desire, motivation, and what exactly our family schedule looks like that month.

Here’s to a year of making!

PS For January, I’ve chosen Haiku. One poem a day.

Unexpected Gifts for Quilters

Okay… send this post to you partner, your spouse, your boyfriend, your grandkid, your mom, your girlfriend, or even your best quilting buddy. Sure, they can all give you a fat quarter bundle, another ruler, or a gift certificate to your favourite shop, but that is so cliche! (Albeit, always welcome!) Instead of the usual stuff, now is the time to drop some hints for the unexpected, but greatly appreciated. These are the gifts that will fuel your creative fire. Not to mention, get you using the fabric they bought you last year.

1. Art Gallery/Museum Membership

Most major cities have an art gallery, or two, that host both regular and touring exhibitions. Stepping out of your usual textile world is a great way to soak up inspiration. Special exhibits on top of the regular showings introduce you to a load of new concepts and ideas. You may think that you would rather spend the time sewing than an afternoon out, but it is well worth it. Bonus, if you have a partner or children it makes an excellent date!

Here in Calgary I am a fan of The Glenbow, the Esker Foundation, and Contemporary Calgary.

2. Subscription to an Audio Streaming Service

Avoid the ads, for one. But this is great food for the brain while you sew. I know a lot of people who will ‘watch’ shows while they sew. Something familiar that they listen to but don’t actually watch. Skip the pretense and listen to your favourite tunes or get engrossed in other people’s stories. True Crime, Humour, Books, even sewing all have podcasts delivered regularly across platforms. It could be Apple Music, Stitcher Premium, or Spotify, among others. Check their preferences.

3. Really Nice Markers, Pencil Crayons, and/or Pens. Plus a Bullet Journal.

Sure, we’ve all sketched something on a scrap of paper with what ever nub of a pencil we found or meticulously planned a quilt on a standard pad of graph paper. Okay, some of use computer programs, but you folks are in the minority and skilled in a totally different way. Getting to play and draw out our ideas with real colour in things that flow on nice paper is a true privilege for most quilters. It is not another pack of Crayolas for the kids to steal. These are our things that will be protected at the same level as our fabric scissors.

While I, personally, am not someone who does the Bullet Journal thing, I do like the dotted paper that most journals have. It allows you to make and use grid lines without having the lines be so prominent like they are on graph paper.

4. Long Arm Classes

A long arm sewing machine is not in the budget of most quilters. (Remind me to tell you of the time my husband discovered the prices). However, there are stores and long arm quilters across the country who will rent out time on their long arm machines. You just have to be certified first. Give the gift of the class.

If an in person class is not an option, splurge on a long arm gift certificate. Your favourite quilter can get their big quilt finished without intimidation.

5. Time

Give them time. A weekly or daily time where they are free to sew - GUILT FREE - while you take care of the rest of the stuff of life. It might be a sew date with a friend (who needs book club when you can sew?), mornings while you get the kids out the door, or at night when it makes zero difference to you anyway (but you can fold the laundry while they sew, right?) To many of us would love to do more but the grind of daily life means that time is at a premium. The gift of time means so much.

Remember, none of these gifts are about getting more quilts done. Don’t ever make that the goal. That will probably go over as well as buying someone a gym membership if they casually mention they wish they could lose five pounds. Bad, bad idea. No, your goal with these gifts is to encourage their creative exploration. You are promoting their natural curiosity, enhancing their skills, and showing your unconditional support for something that brings them joy.