"confessions"

Yes, There is Racism in Quilting

Stop the pearl clutching. Let go of your conventions.

Stop saying that politics has no place in quilting. It 100% does.

Stop thinking that white privilege is not a thing. It absolutely is.

Much is being said this week, much is going on this week. I feel like we are at a reckoning for civil action. People are FED UP with the systemic and blatant racism in policing, in society. Thousands and thousands are marching peacefully. Many are raging too. Quilting should be no different.

Like the White House was built by slaves, quilting was also built on the backs, the deaths, the enslavement of people. Cotton. Just think of cotton. Not a person among us should be free of the imagery, the reality, of a cotton plantation. White owners, black slaves. All for cotton. And what is it that is the mainstay of our industry? Cotton.

Of course I am not saying that current quilt shops, fabric companies, and designers are slave owners. But we must absolutely acknowledge that this industry arose as a direct result of slavery.

So, yeah, stop clutching your pearls.

When quilters want to use their skills and their creativity to make a statement with their quilts they are doing so with over a century of tradition behind them. Temperance quilts, church fundraisers, signature quilts all have something to say or show. Block designs acknowledge periods of history or events and we use them now not knowing. So many quilt blocks have Biblical inspirations, those are just as political as a modern interpretation of a raised fist. Quilters use quilts to raise their voices.

The people complaining that politics have no place in quilting are really saying that politics different than theirs don’t belong. It is about silencing a voice they disagree with. And more often than not it is about a white person silencing a voice that is coming from a person of colour or in support of. A perfect example of this is the quilt show reaction to the travelling exhibit Threads of Resistance.

So yeah, quilts always have, and always will be political.

My skin is white. That affords me a luxury of safety and comfort that many others do not have. I do not have to worry that I will be viewed as a thief in a store, just for being in the store. I don’t have to style my hair differently when shooting a class so that I look less ethnic. I am not questioned about whether I am in the right place, ever. All because my skin is white. If you need more explanation or white privilege and you haven’t been watching the news lately, this post is quite succinct. Here is a direct example from the quilt industry. Or take a look at the faculty of nearly every major show, and some of us may remember the defensiveness or organizations when it was pointed out. That is all white privilege.

Look at your book shelf of quilting books, or at the bins in your stash. How many of them were created by black quilters? I’m not saying that the companies are blatantly racist and excluding black designers. It is more that we are all conditioned to see white as better, myself included. I’ve benefited from that system, no doubt. That is white privilege. I had to sell myself, but I had a built in advantage. There are, you should know, a tonne of talented black quilters, designers, artists, and teachers including are Nicole Neblett, Chawne Kimber, and Carole Lyles Shaw. They deserve their spotlight too.

A few years back, it was either at Quilt Market or QuiltCon, a group of women came together to take a photograph. Their point was to show that they were all different people. It wasn’t a group of blonds or middle aged pattern designers, it was a group of black women. Ebony is not Latifah is not Rashida, yet people always want to mix them up. Why? Because they are all notable black quilters and seemingly people couldn’t tell them apart. Why? Because they likely weren’t seeing them as individual people, just ‘the black quilter’. People laughed at the stunt, but it was more telling of the industry than anything.

So yeah, white privilege exists and it is here in quilting.

There is no perfect way forward. And I know that people don’t want to hear that they are wrong or even get the hint that they are racist. Now is the time for all of us to look in the mirror, look at the words we say, and how we act towards all people. I am doing that, so should you.

Don’t be complacent, do the work.

Don’t expect others to educate you, educate yourself.

Don’t assume that you are without fault, we are all a product of history and a system.

I do sincerely hope that time is a reckoning. Here, as a quilter, I want to do the work to make those changes. So I will keep reading, writing, researching, making, listening, amplifying, and respecting. I encourage you to do the same.

As a start, I recommend the following:

The Social Justice Sewing Academy.

The work of both Carolyn Mazloomi and Faith Ringgold.

Checking out the collections of various museums like the Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts, National Museum of African American History and Culture, and the Berkley Art Museum. There is more to African American quilt traditions than Gees Bend.

Reading Empire of Cotton by Sven Beckert and How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi.

Not Reaching Your Goals is NOT a Failure

54 is decidedly not 44.

A year ago I set an intention to finish quilts. I had 54 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list. So, in the year I was 44 I thought it would be am good idea to get that list down to 44. It seemed reasonable. It is reasonable. And I did finish 6 projects. Some of those held long time spots on the list, or short spots. Some were started and finished in one go. I did, however, start a number of projects as well. They are taking up room on the list as blocks or completed quilt tops.

Cheryl Arkison

So be it.

In a few days I turn 45 and 45 is 54 backwards. That tiny fact appeals to me. Since I can’t be 44 forever, and I still don’t have 44 projects on the Quilts Under Construction list then I will hang on to this little tidbit of cheer.

And really, when it comes down to it, I don’t care about that number. I don’t care that I started more than I finished this year. Why? Because it all represents the joy of making. The process is so, so great. I don’t want to get hung up on the number of finished quilts. If that is all I wanted then I could just go buy a quilt at the mall. Okay, maybe not right now, but you get the point.

As I look through my master list I am reminded on projects started for specific reasons and that memory makes me smile. I see projects that started as a moment of play that grew and grew. I see old projects that I am, admittedly, a little sad, aren’t getting their time in the sun. I see quilt tops I am anxious to quilt (and the 4 big pieces of batting I bought recently calling their names).

Improv Piecing Mills and Stars Cheryl Arkison

Mostly, I see my time invested in myself. That’s right, not invested in the projects, in myself. That’s because this is 80% about my mental health and finding joy in the creative act and 20% about making a quilt. And this past year, especially these past few months, have been stressful and busy. Without a creative practice like quilt making I definitely would be full of anxiety and tears. Those things are there, but I can manage them because I make.

Long time readers will probably think I sound like a broken record. I can’t argue with that. Right now though, we need to see this more than ever. Make for the sake of making.

So on my distanced birthday this year I will likely get a few stitches in a few different projects and none will get finished. It will be glorious. One of these days I will get down to 44, or maybe even less? Or maybe I won’t.

Leaders and Enders Cheryl Arkison

Sewing Scraps with Chronic Pain

Log Cabin Scrap Quilt

For months I could only sew standing up so I would be in the sewing room at 3 am, hoping for relief. Beats letting the insomnia and pain wreak havoc on my brain. Full confession, I generally sleep without pajamas. This means I might find myself in the nude sewing away. I know, I’m weird, I embrace it. So one night I am in there - pain high but feeling some mental relief as I make little log cabins. I did not hear anything but the snip of the scissors and whirr of the stitching. Which means I did not hear my husband come into the room. To be fair, he was checking on me after waking up and not finding me in bed. But at that moment I completely startled. He should be thankful I dropped the scissors out of my hand on the cutting table before I turned around. I may have screamed too.

And that is how quilts get made in my world.

Log Cabin Improv Quilts

Anyone who has worked on scrap quilts before knows how the scraps multiply in the night, like gremlins. You think you’ve made a dent in them but no.

It’s also how I’ve come to refer to my chronic pain: there are Gremlins living in my lower back. When they feel extra precocious they travel down my leg. And yes, some times they multiply at night.

This particular quilt is one I distinctly associate with my pain. I started it a year ago, which is also when my pain started. Not a coincidence. But it is also one that has given me tremendous relief, both physical and mental. Whether it is sewing naked in the middle of the night or my standard morning make, the relief has been palpable when working on this quilt.

I’m not sure people understand the toll on our mental health when chronic pain or illness are in the picture. While I have general anxiety and the odd panic attack, my mental health is generally okay. Nothing to really worry about on the whole. I do think that my Morning Make has a huge impact on that. A regular practice of self care does wonders, as does the benefit of being completely present in something. That is, it all worked well until I started living with the pain.

Improv Log Cabins

Those same gremlins often feel like added weight when I am just trying to hold on to a cliff’s edge, making it harder to hang on or even preventing me from pulling myself up. I’ve cried and yelled more this past year, I’m definitely angrier. I won’t lie, some days are truly awful. If it didn’t hurt to lay down I wouldn’t get out of bed those days. Maybe, in that way, the way the pain is ends up being a blessing? I’m not going to walk around the neighbourhood in the middle of the night, but I can sew. So physical and mental health topped up at 3 am. That’s the way, at this point, I choose to look at it.

Depression is very real and quite debilitating for many, many people. I’m extremely thankful that I’ve had bad days and even weeks on end where it feels like that Bill Murray movie, Goundhog Day. Over and over again the same crap. That being said, I manage to keep myself going. Walking the dog and sewing. Getting outside and creating. Deep breath, we can do this. At least this week I can.

At the end of the day, too, you have to laugh. When my husband scared me that night he walked into a strange scene for sure. He alerted me to his presence with a “what the hell are you doing?” which was a valid question as I sewed naked at 3 am. And then we laughed. Belly laughs with all their jiggles in this situation. And for that brief moment the gremlins fell off my back.

Scrap Quilts



54 -10 = 44

Happy Birthday Cheryl Arkison

Today is my birthday. 44 trips around the sun.

Because I have a love of alliteration I have a special affinity for this particular year. I suppose that means I like all years that are multiples of 11. Perhaps there is a meaning to that in numerology?

Regardless of both my birthday and whatever that numerology may mean, I’ve been thinking about my Quilts Under Construction list this week. So far in 2019 I’ve finished two quilts, a handful of quilt tops, and just have the binding to do on another. Miraculously, I’ve only actually started one quilt and it is already a finished top. Every day I sew, it’s just that it takes awhile to see progress the way I do it - 30 minutes a day, if I’m lucky and small piecing of late.

Quilts Under Construction

Morning tea in hand, I double checked my master list of Quilts Under Construction. It stands at 54, as of today. Even with those finishes I mentioned above. It isn’t that the number upsets me, it’s that I actually do want to finish some quilts. I want the excitement that comes with burying the last threads from quilting or the peace of hand stitching the binding. I want to live with these quilts, not just the creative outlet.

So, as of today - my birthday - I am stating the goal that I want to make this list down to 44 by next year. It seems doable. There are a lot of projects on there that I am still so excited to work on! A few small ones to round out some epic projects, some ones that have been around forever and deserve their day in the sun. And, my Bernina just came back from a trip to the spa so some quilting is in order.

But first, cake. Then assembling those blocks behind me into a quilt top. And washing the floors so I can baste a quilt or two. I did want to research lights for filming video this week. Oh wait, I have to take my son to ballet today too.

10 finished quilts this year. Hold me to it, alright?