Confessions of a Condiment Slut

What does a tray of homemade gnocchi have to do with my confession as a condiment slut?  It makes perfect sense to me, so let me try to explain.

Far more than spring cleaning, I am trying to get the house in order.  Living on just one floor for the last 6 months has forced us to really evaluate what we need to live and what is the best way for 4 people and two dogs to live in 1000 square feet.  In the winter.  As my return to work looms I thought it was time to tackle a few things like the closets and the kitchen.  Enter The Kitchn Cure.  Fantastic, a very public way to force me to actually do the work.  And to ensure I really stick to it I am promising to report it all here, once a week for the next 6 weeks.

Pantry before

It actually hasn't been that long since I cleaned out the fridge and the pantry - this week's assignment.  When I am upset about something I clean.  I think Hubby and I had a major domestic fueled my pregnancy hormones, or maybe it was nesting?  So it's been a year... not too long.  But this time I took a closer look at what was actually in there and filled a garbage can, the recycling bin, and a bag for the Foodbank.

It is no secret that I have a tendency to hoard condiments.  Fancy mustards, barbecue sauce, fruity vinegars, jams, honey, hot sauce, and even salad dressings all have a special place in my heart, fridge, and pantry.  When I travel my souvenirs are either cookbooks or food.  As a thirtysomething married chick I don't bring home tropical diseases or naughty memories of strangers, I bring home Texas 1015 Onion Dressing and Jerk Sauce.  And all that baggage was sitting in my house.  Seriously, I had salad dressing in the fridge from a trip to Texas 9 years ago and I've moved it three times.  I was carrying it around like an STD.

Pantry after

While I'm not sure I will cure myself of my condiment obsession, I was rather ruthless in culling the scores of sauces taking up space and not inspiring anything tasty.  Just like the women's mags will tell you when cleaning your closet - if you haven't used it the last 6 months it's time for it to go.  That seemed generous even, so I applied a two month rule.  Surprisingly, I haven't used a lot of stuff in the last two months.

Gone was the hoisin sauce (I never know what to do with it), jerk sauce, three open bottles of three different barbecue sauces, about 4 bottles of salad dressing with just an inch left inside, cream of wheat, expired cans of sweetened condensed milk, and even a can of alligator meat I bought at my brother's wedding in New Orleans.  His wedding was 9 years ago.

Fridge before

Our fridge is only 3 years old and Hubby has been complaining that it is too small.  It is not a small fridge, it was just filled with condiments.  I knew it was bad, but the pile of crap on the counter was ridiculous.  Did I really need ten bottle of salad dressing when we Hubby only ever wants Golden Italian?  Why do I have all that barbecue sauce when CattleBoyz is the best stuff on earth?

There was never any room for leftovers.  And when they did make it in the fridge they always got lost and I would end up throwing out a bunch of food.  Oh yeah, I forgot that cheese sauce was there. Damn, I could have made mac and cheese for dinner last night.  Crap, I could have had that for lunch the other day.  What a bloody waste.

Fridge After

Now there is a dedicated shelf for leftovers.  And another one for all the blessed cottage cheese we go through (over 2 litres a week).  Our three different kinds of milk actually can fit.  Oh, and the fridge will close without any extra hip action.  Most importantly, Hubby might actually be able to find something if he opens the fridge door.  I think he fantasizes about a fridge that is about 6 inches deep and the length of the wall - that way everything is in the front row.

So this condiment slut decided to actually make use of her leftovers when culling the condiments.  Easter dinner's mashed potatoes became gnocchi for dinner.  And I pulled out some braised short ribs from the freezer to serve as the sauce. It's almost worth making extra potatoes just to make these.  Light, little dumplings that Smilosaurus devoured and The Monster spat out.  She's always hated potatoes.  At least I know where the leftovers will be.

Leftover Potatoes Gnocchi

(serves 4)

3 cups mashed potatoes (already loaded with cream, butter, and seasoned)

1 beaten egg

3/4 - 1 cup flour

1-2 ounces grated parmesan

1.  Mix all ingredients together to make a soft dough.

2.  Roll dough into a long rope, about an inch thick.  Cut off one inch pieces.  You can roll them over a fork for the traditional look or just leave them.

3.  Refrigerate or freeze on a floured tray.  Cook in a pot of boiling water until the float to the surface.

Wonderful served with a nice meat sauce, braised short ribs, brown butter, cream sauce with lobster, and so much more.

Is It Over Yet?

Yes, Easter is over.  Passover too.  And soon enough the week will be done.  Stick a fork in me, because I am definitely done.

We always try to get through the beginning of April/Easter without any major calamities. We've had babies born at our wedding, our baby nearly arriving 9 weeks early, that baby then being hospitalized, asthma attacks, and various minor things like cars lighting on fire at this time of year.  A few minor hiccups last week, but we were doing great and no hospital visits in sight.  Then, on Monday morning I walked into a door.  And broke my nose.

Thankfully it is no big deal and other than some swelling I don't look too beat up.  There was no emergency room visit, so that's progress.  

By the time 5 o'clock rolls around my face is throbbing and I just can't deal with making dinner. Today I attempted to deal with my overflowing fridge and get something together.  The most I could muster was dealing with the leftover dyed eggs.  Most of them were cracked from the manhandling The Monster gave them.  And there were a lot!  We could have been eating egg salad sandwiches all week.  Instead I thought we could indulge on one of Hubby's favourites: deviled eggs.

Truth be told, Hubby loves himself a boiled egg, no matter what form it comes in.  Dippy eggs with toast points.  A half dozen hard boiled eggs as a post-hockey snack - yes, I said 6 eggs as a snack.  And even the traditional potluck deviled egg with its sprinkling of unnecessary paprika. The most requested form however, is the curried deviled egg.   And yes, we could eat these for dinner.  Okay, we might make a salad to round out the meal.  Maybe.

I make these for every barbeque we have.  I made them for my brother- and sister-in-law's wedding.  And my other brother-in-law asks for these almost more than he asks for pie.

For every iteration on the deviled egg theme there will be lovers and haters.  My brother, for example, makes wasabi deviled eggs.  I'm not that much of a fan.  And I could take or leave the traditional variety too.  But add some mango chutney and curry powder and you will see me hoovering a plate faster than anyone could sprinkle paprika.  Maybe you'll hate these, but then I would think there is something wrong with you.  And if deviled eggs aren't your thing, add a touch more mayo, chop up the whites, and make an egg salad sandwich.

Curried Deviled Eggs

Makes 12 servings

6 hard boiled eggs, sliced in half lengthwise

2 TBSP mayonnaise

1 TBSP mango chutney

1 tsp curry powder

Salt and Pepper

1.  Scoop out the yolks and place in a bowl.  Set aside the whites.

2.  Mash the yolks together with the mayonnaise, chutney, and curry powder.  Season to taste.

3. Spoon the yolk mixture back into the egg whites.  Garnish with a slice of mango.

Backseat Adventure - Lacombe Corn Maze

Do you think she made the connection?

It was Thanksgiving weekend. After baking, the market, and dinner with friends we decided to take a trip to the Lacombe Corn Maze yesterday. From turkey dinner to feeding the turkeys at the petting zoo there. Of course, she wouldn't eat the turkey on Sunday and all she talked about on the way home was how the turkey and the goat nipped her fingers. Perhaps she is a bit young yet, but I wonder how many parents had to explain why the two turkeys were named Christmas and Thanksgiving?

We're getting better at these road trips. Rather, I should say we're getting better at packing lunches for these road trips. What better lunch on Thanksgiving than a turkey sandwich? Inspired by Aimee, we made ours with an aged cheddar and apples. No onion jam in the house, but I did slice a giant onion in the morning and let it carmelize while I made some apple and pear handpies to bring. I would have loved croissants, but where am I going to find good, fresh croissants on a holiday Monday in Calgary? Hmm, where to find them any day?

But I digress. The Monster isn't up for sandwiches yet, unless they are grilled. So she munched on some bread, the last of the cherry tomatoes from the garden, and a bit of chocolate. She ate so much at Sunday's dinner - peppers, carrots, apples, fruit salad, stuffing, and as much cranberry sauce as she could get from us - that she wasn't all that hungry yesterday. Kids go in such fits and starts. It can be frustrating, but I figure she will eat when she's hungry.
Ultimately we were a bit late in the game for the corn maze. Frost and wind have damaged it to the point where we could see over the top of the maze. But with the Monster guiding us through the maze we still managed to get lost. We did get out in time to play on the jumping pillow, slide our way down the giant slide, and make it home in time for a dinner of farfalle with pesto, corn, tomatoes, and leftover turkey.

PS We went to the corn maze last year as well, you can read about it here.