The Perimenopause Chronicle Quilt Begins

I come from a family with scary uterine history. My grandmother died of cervical cancer in her 30s. My mom had a hysterectomy shortly after giving birth to me. That history also means I have zero recollection of any conversations about menopause within my family. Really though, the world just doesn’t talk it; it isn’t just a thing with my family. More specifically, the world does not talk about perimenopause.

A few weeks ago I had a long conversation with one of my girlfriends about this. Is it squeamishness? Denial? the perpetual sweeping under the rug of anything to do with women’s health? Now that we are in the thick of perimenopause it reminds of when I was pregnant and I kept asking: why didn’t anyone tell me about this? In both cases it might be that people did tell me but I wasn’t looking for/listening to the information before I needed it. Or, it is the reasons listed above? Regardless, I am interested in it a lot now, for obvious reasons - being a 45 year old woman, namely.

So, on our last Virtual Trunk Show (Instagram Live, the second Thursday of each month) we had the theme of Change of Seasons and it gave me a wonderful idea: make a quilt to mark the perimenopause experience! I got the idea from the concept of temperature quilts/blankets. You pick a colour to correspond with the temperature of the day and make a block or knit/crochet a row to mark it. Only I would be marking my flow, moods, pain, and other stuff of my perimenopausal menstrual cycle.

Aided by a few conversations with friends and online about what exactly I should track and in consultation with the Monster and The Evil Genius I planned out the quilt. Fabric selection was a bit tough. I went back and forth between solids and prints until I concluded that neither felt right. A quiet Sunday at home led me to experiment with hand-dyed fabric (with Procion MX dyes). It took a few tries but I am happy with the palette for this quilt.

Each block will include a representation of my flow, or not flow, as well as my mood. I am also including a marker for pain and for what my teen referred to as Random Ass Shit like night sweats, bowel issues, breast tenderness, and bloating.

Here is the legend I am working with:

LEFT PILE
Orange = Random Ass Shit
Yellow = Pain (cramps and mittleschmerz mostly)
Pink/Peach = no flow
Pink Red = light flow
Red = medium flow
Purple Red = heavy flow

RIGHT PILE is for moods
Green = Happy
Turquoise = Content
Blue = Sad/Listless
Purple = Grumpy/Irritable/Annoyed
Black = Angry

My plan is to track things for 12 cycles. That adds up to more or less a year. Nothing is perfectly regular anymore so that is only a guess.

I know that this makes some feel uncomfortable. Oh well. We need more conversations on this topic and I am happy to open the door and make space for that. Yes, the quilt is a selfish reflection but it will serve as a larger conversation starter.

Expect the periodic post here and follow along on instagram with #perimenopausechroniclequilt.

Color of Connection Quilt

Color of Connection

58” x 64”

The premise behind the Color of Connection quilt along was to sew together, yes, but to also inspire discussion and efforts around diversity and inclusion in the quilt community.

Diversity and inclusion in the quilt community? I believe that while quilters come in all stripes and colours, the spaces are dominated by white women. So yes, quilters are a diverse bunch, but it is still a far from inclusive community. This #colorofconnectionqal is highlighting that. I've met a number of new quilters and new to me quilters, quite a few with stories about bad experiences with quilt guilds and communities. It is painful, but not surprising that this is still happening. Quilting community is going to be a reflection of the larger world. Just because we are quilters we aren't all magically kind and wonderful, despite the grandma stereotype. If we want the change here and everywhere we have to make the change.

This was my first quilt along, at least the first I can remember participating in. I felt it was important to both join the discussions and lead by example. It really wasn’t about the quilt. (But I will still talk about the quilt in a moment.) It was about a bit of a reckoning for our quilt community. It was also about building community for ALL quilters, for acknowledging that the spaces we are creating may not be welcoming, and for having this Color of Connection community be a truly inclusive space.

Kudos to the organizers Porfiria Gomez, Keyana Richardson, and Michelle Collins.

Now, to the quilt.

It’s me, so you know I have a hard time following a pattern. I followed the quilt along and the discussion prompts, but played with the pattern a bit. The original quilt called for large solids or at least large cuts of prints. As my scrap bins were overflowing I decided I would make slabs and cut my pattern pieces from them. I started with black solely because I was thinking about Black Lives Matter. This particular quilt seemed like a good one to get symbolic. After that I chose warm colours to share joy and warmth of people. And because they looked good.

As usual, The Monster helped me baste the quilt and she suggested the red thread. I used a Wonderfil option from my thread stash. In fact, I bought nothing to make this quilt. The backing was a combination of two fabrics from my Tag collection. I loved the mix of the names prints - showcasing the diverse community of our local elementary school where all the signatures came from - and the texting print of all thumbprints. My batting was put together from leftovers. Nothing like Frankenbatting to truly embrace a make-do approach!

The binding was a fun choice. We know I like a contrasting binding. It actually wasn’t my intention here, but nothing I chose in black, red, pink, or otherwise looked good. On a whim I pulled out my blue and green bins. This royal blue Pearl Bracelet was exactly the right colour and I had just enough to make this work.

The quilting itself, with the aforementioned red thread, was a fun grid. Vertical lines first, every 2”. Then I did a diagonal line with the same spacing, following the lines of the large HSTs in the pattern. It isn’t fancy, but it is effective. And quick.

Obviously, a quilt along is not going to solve systemic racism. What it does achieve, however, is a continued conversation and visibility for the topic. Both are important in our community. With the quilt along finished it is now up to the rest of us to continue that conversation.

As a quilt teacher one of the places I do this is in my classroom, virtual or in person. My goal is to create a space where everyone and anyone is welcome. I promise you I will shut down the commentary, judgement, and racism/homophobia should it come out in the classroom. And if people don't think I should do this then they shouldn't hire me. As a quilter, I will do this by continuing to read, to listen, to encourage the conversation, to use the materials I have on hand, and to use my platform for all of this. I know loads of people want to keep politics out of quilting, but you just can’t. And I won’t.

If you are interested in the Color of Connection pattern or the goals of the project you can find out more here.

The Slow Comfort of Painting a Quilt

Small comforts.

These days that is what we take, what we can find. Whether that be in the consumption of something, Or, as it would be more likely for readers here, the creation of something.

A cup of tea or a glass of wine, candles lit, a ruler and a quilt book close at hand. Don’t forget my now trusty watercolours. I had no idea when 2020 started they would become familiar, comforting. It took me some time, but I’ve brought them to my quilting. Rather, I’ve brought quilting to the watercolours.

Meditative to make, these paintings are an exploration of traditional quilt patterns. They are significantly more detailed than the cards I made back in September. In a way, they are my opportunity to play with precision piecing without having to actually precision piece. They serve to try out colour combinations, as if I was sewing with solid fabrics, also something I don’t do that often.

I can’t say that I want to go out and make these quilts now. They are comforting to make, but aren’t necessarily inspiring me to sew. At least each one only takes me a few hours to make. Much faster than a quilt with fabric!

Each one starts with a sharp pencil, a block pulled from history, and a ruler. I draw the whole thing with pencil then start painting. Painting is a multi day/evening process as I like to have the paint dry in between. It’s watercolour so I don’t want the paint to bleed. Once the colour is all done I go over the seam lines with a black marker, to highlight them. Without that last step it feels a bit unfinished. Kind of like me adding the quilting stitches to a flimsy.

These aren’t fine art and I have a lot to learn yet, but the comfort it gives me is divine. A quiet, slow moment in a noisy world that wants to reach in and swallow me whole.

And maybe this way I can convince my husband to put a quilt on the wall?!

Morning Make - March 2020

On February 29 I woke up with the flu. Just the regular flu, thankfully, but I still spent the next few weeks sicker than I can remember being in my adult life. And I thought shingles was bad this past fall! Anyway, when it came time to start March Morning Make I absolutely needed something easy, something mindless, something that was creative without being terribly challenging. In my fever addled state I remembered my Creative Bug membership and the multiple daily challenge classes.

With my kiddo’s IKEA paint set at my side I started Lisa Solomon’s Color Meditation class. I had no idea how perfect of a choice this was. More on that.

Note: I am spelling Color the American way here so people can find the class.

Once I was able to be vertical I went out and bought more watercolours, fancy ones from the art store. A week later I bought another set. That was when the kids came home. They joined me in the mornings then. We painted together, a calm start to these crazy days.

I knew zero about watercolour before starting this class. I can’t claim to know much more now - this isn’t a class on technique - but I have a comfortableness and willingness to play with the paint now. Any previous watercolour experience on my part was sitting beside the kids while they made shapes and landscapes and such.

Even when sick I found this painting to be pure escape. Then when our world got turned inside I found it to be a perfect balm. Lisa calls them Color Meditations and it is apt. I got lost in the process, much like I do when I am sewing. The end result didn’t matter, it was about the physical act of paint on paper. It was about playing without colour and water and shape. It was about the breath when we did it.

Sometimes the daily painting was only 15-20 minutes. Sometimes I sat there over an hour. Many, many times one or more of us would come to the table throughout the day with a cup of water and play.

You don’t have to start a daily practice like this on the 1st of the month. Try it tomorrow morning, I promise you won’t regret it.

Any daily creative practice is so important right now. People are baking bread, learning how to knit, picking up the guitar. Why? Because we need both the physical action of making/doing and the mental break from the rest of the world. When we do this our brain and body release from what is going on and allows us to be fully present. This is what meditation does for us and there is no one who can argue that meditation is bad. If sitting on a pillow and taking deep breaths while on a big journey isn’t your thing, then a creative challenge may suit you. Whatever that may be.

For April I am back to sewing. It’s been a few months since I did that for Morning Make. Each day I am making a 12.5” square X Plus blocks.