Personality

Let's talk books.

I've reviewed a few books here and plan to review a lot more in the coming months. Before I go any further I wanted to bring up a conversation here.

There was a comment on last week's post by Weeks Ringle, one of the authors of The Modern Quilt Workshop, among others. Her comment led to a series of emails between she and I about the writing in quilt books.

I'm a fan of good writing. Just like I'm a fan of a cup of strong tea, colour, and the Edmonton Oilers. I also enjoy entertaining writing, or a piece that challenges or motivates me. While I've only read a couple dozen or so quilt books in my time I can say that it isn't always the writing that attracts me to the book.

Too often, a quilt book is a section outlining the concepts of the book - what makes this book different from all the rest of the books out there - followed by a basics quilting section. After that it is a bunch of patterns. The vast majority of books are glorified packages of patterns.

To be clear, I don't actually see anything wrong with that. I don't own many of this type of book, but they serve a purpose and can be quite motivating. What makes a book buyable and frequently browsed - to me - will be the good writing.

If I flip through a book and the patterns are interesting or exciting to me the first thing I do is read the Introduction. Bad or boring writing usually causes me to set the book down. I'll probably take a mental note of what I liked from the patterns and file it away for later inspiration. If the writing is engaging or grabs me with a challenging concept I am far more likely to take the book.

Of course, I'm also a sucker for pretty and clean layouts.

This leads me to what Weeks Ringle and I were chatting about - what is the appropriate level of personality in a book? The visuals, aside from the quilts themselves, are a strong part of the personality of the author. Compare Simplify with Camille Roskelly with The Practical Guide to Patchwork by Elizabeth Hartman, for example. Same publisher, same book format. But visually they are very different.

The writing is also part of the personality. And making the writing personal is about more than adding a whole pile of exclamation points or silly jokes. Being able to write in a voice that sounds like you when you are talking doesn't come to everyone. More importantly, being able to do so well and still be engaging is a big challenge. Even if you can do it well, it is hard to be great at it all the time.

In a book that is outlining specific concepts or technical design information, is there a place for personality? That was the question Weeks and I were debating. Or it is better to be succinct and specific?

This, of course also leads to the inherent links between blogging and books. Are they separate? Should they be? If you blog and write a book, how much of one should make it to the other - marketing aside?

I'm going to turn it back to you now. You've read the questions above. You've probably read a million books on your own. What are your thoughts? Oh, one more question. What is your experience as a quilter and what type of books do you like to read?

Stand Back

These are the pumpkins we carved on the weekend. And the costumes. The inherent laziness of my efforts at costumes for the kids aside, I'm here today to talk about something important. So begins my rant against helicopter parenting and nearly as bad, helicopter crafting.

I want to start my clarifying I am not a helicopter parent. My kids run wild at the park, too wild for many, many parents who either feel free to admonish me with looks or not so gentle reminders that my tiny 2 year old is hanging from the monkey bars or standing 20 feet up at the playground. My kids are allowed to scream, run, and explore without me following behind. My kids are encouraged and even pushed to try new things, ask questions, and challenge (even when that creates a challenge for us). My kids are learning that if they want something they have to work for it, or if they ask that they answer is quite possibly no and that is okay. My kids do get punished when they break rules, and yes, there are a number of basic rules to follow. Most importantly, my kids are allowed to be kids.

We all have our parenting styles/philosophies. I have friends who are close to being helicopter parents and they are still very good parents. I have friends even more lax than us, or more strict. I'm not judging anyone.

But this weekend I had to stand back and judge myself. We were carving pumpkins and making the girls' costumes. The Monster decided that she was going as a traffic light and her sister would be the car she would make stop. (Oh, that is definite fodder for therapy later in life.) Up first was the pumpkins.

First, there was the insistence on 5 pumpkins and no less. They were cheap and really they are the only decorations I do for Halloween, so I let her get that one. Next we had to decide what kid of face each one would have. The first one was for a surprised face. No problem. I carved an O for a mouth, eyebrows, and rather bad eyes. After that I surveyed the girls for their direction on the second one.

(See what I'm doing there? Giving them choices on things I don't give a damn about but will matter to them. All part of my parenting philosophy so I can hold that against them when it comes to a choice I actually care about.)

So there I am carving a mean face on pumpkin number 2 when The Monster discovers the Sharpie. She quickly proceeds to draw all over the pumpkin. Hair, another set of eyebrows, freckles, words, and random shapes. My instinct was to snap and give her hell for wrecking the pumpkin. In only a few seconds though, I realized that I was about to lose it over a pumpkin. A pumpkin with a life span of a few days on my front steps.

Why shouldn't she colour it with a Sharpie? Why shouldn't it take on its own life in her hands? She isn't allowed to use the knife, so what else is there for her in pumpkin carving other than facial directions?

Another Sharpie later, a very serious discussion about what can and cannot be coloured with said Sharpie, and I let them go to town on the pumpkins. And we were all happier when I stood back.

By the time we came to costumes I was feeling strong. No problem, I can stand back and let them decorate things. Yeah, not so easy. I fought every instinct to step in and help them paint Smilosaurus' car. Doesn't it need windows? Or complete coverage in one colour? So many times my hands reached out to take a brush. In the end I resorted to sitting on them when not adding paint to the palette. Was I happy with the car? It certainly wasn't what I wanted or expected, but they were happy in the process of creating and the little one was ecstatic to wear it. That makes me happy.

One final challenge came with the traffic light costume. Just felt glued, then sewn, to a yellow t-shirt. Nothing fancy, until the addition of LED lights. And, according to the Monster, not quite finished until she added some completely random marks with a black pen. I'll admit, there was a very sharp name-calling and a lot of internal frustration. Then she said she loved it and thought it was perfect now. Who am I to argue with that?

As parents we need to stand back some time to let our kids be kids, let the mess or the tantrum happen, or let them dress themselves even when they look like a hot mess. As crafters and artists we need to stand back some times to let the piece be or speak. As teachers we need to stand back and let the students' voices ring through. And some times we need to stand back and shut the hell up.

Doug's Frog Shirt Quilt

Doug's Frog Shirt Quilt

Approximately Twin Sized

August 2004

Stack and Slash, Fusible Applique - Original Design

Considering that I shared my Dad's quilt (Roots) during the last Blogger's Quilt Festival it only seemed appropriate that I share my Father-in-Law's quilt this time around. Sadly, my Father-in-law, Doug, never actually saw this quilt. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and 6 weeks later passed away.

As soon as he was diagnosed I pulled the fabric. It was all inspired by t-shirt he had. This pretty ugly batik t-shirt, known as the Frog Shirt. That t-shirt was, as far as I know, the only source of tension between he and I. My teasing was a bit much, but we got past it quickly. So, in homage to that shirt and him I took it as my inspiration.

The top was pieced with the Stack and Slash concept in rectangular blocks. I picked the black sashing for a few reasons. Number 1, the frog shirt was black. Number 2, it went well with the rest of the fabrics, setting them off nicely. And Number 3, it was kind of symbolic. Cancer can be a sentence - as it was for him - so it is rather like bars holding in the chaos of cancer in the blocks.

The frogs, of course, needed to be on there. Each frog represents his wife, my amazing Mother-in-Law, and their three kids. Even the grandkids, of which there were only two at the time, are given their place on the backs of the frogs.

The quilting was an all-over stipple with random fern and plant motifs added in. I used a Sulky variegated on my old 1960s Brother machine.

Sadly, I never got the chance to finish the quilt before he passed. Then the overwhelming world of grief took away my quilting desires. But in time for what would have been his birthday that year I finished the quilt and presented it to the family. Initially I'd hoped it could roam the family and provide some comfort where necessary, but it has always stayed with my Mother-in-Law. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Doug has been gone for over 6 years now and I still miss him terribly. He would have adored his new granddaughters and been proud of his son. He still lives on in his family and in the memories. Those never go away. Neither will the quilt, which I pet every time I visit my Mother-in-Law.

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Fear

Fear holds a lot of people back. Not only in life, but also in quilting. Fear of a new technique, fear of messing up, fear of being less than perfect, even fear of not being liked (the work, that is). I'm here to tell you to stop being afraid.

(I feel evangelical just typing that. Maybe I should be on a stage with a tiny microphone on my face and gesticulating calmly as I speak. You know, projecting a voice of inspired energy and turning you over to my side?)

This is a bee block. Just a simple wonky star with a twist was requested. I can get those directions, play around with the fabric given, and come up with something a bit different from the typical stars seen out there. For another person, those directions can simply stop them in their tracks. For one, saying wonky paralyses many. Must have a straight lines... And two, this begs for improvisation. Must have a pattern... Finally, what if the recipient doesn't like what I do?

For a long time I didn't understand these fears. In my case it was because I happen to like a challenge and actually sewing that way. But then people asked me to sew very precise things in their bees, with very specific instructions. Definitely not my go-to-choice for a project. But I'd made the commitment to the bee and my fellow participants. And I wasn't afraid so much as less than excited. But it's one block, what's the big deal?

But one block can be a big deal to a beginner, or to someone whose never made a triangle or not worked with a pattern. I don't want it to be a big deal though. I want people to look past those fears and relish the challenge. Why not try something new? Do you want to make log cabins or simple patchwork for the rest of your life?

Okay, maybe you do. Maybe you would be really happy churning out those quilts. And that's fine. But then stay away from on-line bees and expect other people to get bored with your work if you choose to share it with a very public audience. That's all good if you are happy doing what you are doing.

Looking for more, though? Feeling inspired by all you see on-line or at guild? Then it is time to set aside some fear. Here are some tips to get you moving past the fear:

- Join an on-line bee. This will force you to try new techniques and meet other quilters. Alternatively, join a round robin or guild bee.

- Play. You can just sew for the sake of sewing, it doesn't have to turn into anything.

- Don't blog about it. If you are worried about what people think, then don't share it.

- Blog about it. Push yourself to put it out there, flaws (perceived or real) and all.

- When in doubt about that one fabric, include it. If it still niggles at you once you've used it, then take it out. It is only fabric.

- Ask for help. Whether from an in-person friend or by posting on-line, seek input from others (like we did with the Workshop in Progress).

- Challenge yourself. Set up regular goals to try new techniques or colours.

- Stop reading blogs and books for a little while. It can be demoralizing for many to see so much inspiring work. That is, we think we can't be good enough or think it is beyond us. So take a little retreat for yourself and turn off the computer and stay away from the stack of books. Fondle your fabric and sew for yourself.

- Colour. Stuck when it comes to fabric? Then pull out the crayons, markers, or pencils and just colour. Even if it is just a colouring book, go for it. Give people blue skin, colour the trees purple, or make polka-dotted dogs.

Keep in mind that if you are stuck there is no need to make an entire quilt to move past the fear. Make one block, just play for a bit. This reduces the commitment and moves your forward one step, one block at a time.

What other tips do you have for facing the fear?