Soul

We've just returned from an almost garish weekend trip to the East Coast. Yes, I jauntily flew 5 hours (one way) for a weekend. What an indulgence. And oh so necessary. Now, if only the lottery folks would understand that I need to do this more than once every 3 years.

My soul is well, better now. I was reminded of my love for my husband, my love for friends (old and new), my love for Halifax and all its rotten charms and tourist traps, my love for the ocean and falling leaves and leaves falling in the ocean, my love for foghorns and even cruise ship bellows, my love for beer, my love for simply strolling, my love for me and my soul.

Just a sailboat, as seen from our sailboat.

Coming home with Kate and her family after we sailed and ate. A day spent with friends old and new. Capped with beers cuddled under Kate's mom's quilt and quiet conversations about love, grief, picky eaters, firefighting, vegetarianism, health care reform, friends, creativity, writing, boats, and love again.

PS Barb, I'm sorry we missed each other. Next time!

Celebrating the marriage of one of my oldest friends to the woman who clearly makes his heart dance and leap.
Boys being boys at the Seaport.

Colourful inspiration at the farmers' market.

Waterfront details that warm the cockles.

Halifax details that blow your mind with stories.

Late night shenanigans with the best man on Earth. We got ourselves sorted out in Halifax over 14 years ago and did so again this weekend.

It's a good thing I have my soul, because I'm pretty sure my heart was wrenched from me, tied to a heavy rock, and thrown in the Atlantic. At least I'll have a good excuse to go back.

Pink

I'm not really sure how to explain it, but I'm kind of digging pink lately.  I find myself drawn to pink images, and especially pink fabric. Maybe because it feels indulgently girly? Or simply because it makes me smile.

Strawberry Sour Cream Ice Cream, courtesy of David Lebovitz. It tastes exactly like my summer berries and cream.

Binding one of the last doll quilts. Thrilled with that Amy Butler as a binding.

Hanging on to late summer evenings and celebrating Smilosaurus' new obsession with a pony tail (this is as good as that gets).

Baking pies with my girls, still in their PJs on a lazy weekend morning.

Experimenting with some new low volume ideas.

In love with my new, custom necklace from SuLu Designs. In love more that the girls notice it when I wear it and tell me how much they love it too.

And where do you see pink today?

Realizations

The Monster is a temperamental child. She will be fantastically fine, happy and cheerful 95% of the time. But then you tell her no to just the wrong thing and not only is she upset, like any 4 year old, but the world ends for her. It is infinitely frustrating and one of the biggest challenges of parenting for me.

Up until a certain point today we were all enjoying a lovely, late summer ease. A quiet morning with bread and jam for breakfast. Our normal Sunday morning jaunt to the farmers' market for coffee and a few groceries. The girls napped while Hubby and I sat on the porch swing chatting and petting the dogs. It was all good.

Then I had to go to the grocery store. And another, and another. And I spazzed, yelling at people in traffic and getting right cranky. Then I had a scary moment of clarity. The Monster is me. Yikes, I made her that way. (I'm sorry Mom and Dad.) 

I was still spazzing when I got home, but then I started cooking. I had tomatoes in the oven, slow roasting. I added some peaches, then popped a pork roast in. Smilosaurus helped me tear kale for kale chips. And my bad mood dissipated as quickly as it came.  Just like we send The Monster for a quiet time when she is being unreasonable, I found my quiet time in the kitchen, making Sunday dinner.

A little while later we welcomed an old friend to our home. We cracked some beers. We caught up on travels, the farm, and the challenges and smiles of parenthood. We devoured the meal in front of us. And when The Monster lost it when Hubby took away the cheetah babies after she hit her little sister with them all I could do was hang my head in laughter at the realization that I indeed made my kid.

Pork Loin Roast with Roasted Tomatoes and Peaches

2 pints cherry tomatoes

4 tbsp olive oil

salt and pepper

1 1/2 tsp coriander seeds

3 peaches

2 pound pork roast, boneless rib end

1/2 onion

1 tbsp fresh mint, chopped

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees F.

2. Wash and dry the tomatoes. Cut in half. Place cut side up on a large cookie sheet. Drizzle with 2 tbsp olive oil and season well. Grind 1/2 tsp of the coriander seeds and sprinkle over the tomatoes as well. Place in the oven.

3. After an hour cut the peaches into quarters. Tuck them in among the tomatoes.

4. Pat dry your roast with paper towels, keep it tied up as you bought it. Season well with salt and pepper. Get the remaining 2 tbsp oil hot in a roasting pan or dutch oven. Brown the pork on all sides, leaving it for a couple of minutes each time to get good colour. Move the roast to the side, add the onions and remaining coriander seeds (left whole) to the pan. Cook for a couple of minutes, then move the roast back to the middle of the pan. Cover and put in the oven. Increase the heat to 325 degrees F. Roast for 1 hour.

5. Check the internal temperature of the roast. It should register at least 140 degrees F when you take it out of the oven. Keep it covered in the roasting pan, it will continue to cook a bit more as it rests.

6. Place the tomatoes and peaches on a serving dish, top with chopped mint. After the pork has rested 10-15 minutes remove strings and slice. Serve with tomatoes and peaches.

Big News For Me

It may not be all that exciting to the rest of you, but it is damn exciting for me. In a little over 2 weeks, I'm retiring. No, I'm not suddenly getting a pension and nor did I call in rich. 

Hubby and I have done a lot of thinking and talking and planning and more talking over the summer. We've decided that life as we've living it isn't sustainable for us, as individuals and as a family. So I am leaving the desk job to be a full-time mom, part time writer. I've been writing professionally on the side for just under a year now (see me here!) and it's time to take it one or two or three steps further. And Hubby's business is booming, but that means he is spending less time at home. We realized that the girls saw the nanny more than us!

This is a huge step for me, personally and professionally. I'm terrified that we will devolve into a very traditional wife/husband thing. The only thing I want from the Mad Men era is the furniture, thank-you very much. There is great comfort in knowing Hubby wants it about as much as I do.

I've also never seen myself as a stay at home mom full-time. I admire the folks who can do it, but I know it isn't in me to do. That's why I will still write part-time. I'll be truly taking advantage of all sleepytimes, but I'm sure I can make it work for me.

Professionally, this is pretty big. I'm putting myself out there. I'm stepping out as an entrepreneur essentially. That is also something I never saw myself doing with life. But to be successful you can't just write well. You need to sell yourself, you need to run a business. I won't be doing this half-assed, that's for sure. I've already made great strides and I can see a lot of work and success in my future.

I want, I need to do it. I'm making the change for me, I'm making my life what I want it to be. No one is doing it for me. And I'm damn proud of myself.

Freedom 35, baby!